When did we get the idea that on a list of priorities, caring for ourself should not be in first place? I suppose that sounds selfish but if you knew me in my ‘real’ life, you’d know that I would probably be well-served to be a little more selfish and I am guessing many of you are in the same place. I’ve spent a lot of time over the last few years, speaking with other woman about this and in fact, had this conversation just last night with a colleague and dear friend of mine. She is currently training for an Iron Man and she was sharing with me what that entails as far as a time commitment. She was concerned because the Iron Man is 6 months away and her trainer has her doing 2 hour workouts already this early in the game. We were talking about how she would sustain that regime along with her full-time job, small kids and just managing life.
We are better mothers, friends, wives, caretakers and people in general if we, on a regular basis, make ‘ME’ a priority. I’m a working mom and I have a position of great importance in my company. The motherly guilt of having to miss a play or not volunteer at school all the time has plagued me since my children were small. I have been fortunate enough to have extreme flexibility throughout my career, but even with flexibility, people at work are relying on me. I still have to miss stuff on occasion. So, I have a responsibility to the people who look to me as a leader of the company. I also have a responsibility….the greatest, most important responsibility….. to my children. I am trying to give both areas 100% of what I have to offer so I am already at a deficit of -100% before I ever carve out time for myself, let alone my husband or friendships.
When we are able to say NO (just for the record, the hardest word in the English language for me to say), we can create some boundaries where time for ‘Me’ can be found. There will always be demands placed on us by others or by ourselves with our list of “I Should”s so getting into the regular practice of devoting some time for us is one of the biggest gifts we can give not only ourselves, but those surrounding us.
What can you commit to? 10 minutes in the morning to meditate? A 30 minute walk? 15 minutes of reflection with your morning cup of coffee? An hour long butt-kicking workout? Reading a book for 20 minutes a day? It doesn’t have to be a lot of time and it doesn’t have to be a life-changing event; it just needs to become a part of the day devoted to you. There is a widespread myth that states it takes 21 days to form a habit. I challenge each of us to commit to this for much longer in order to ensure the habit is ingrained….here’s an idea – how about everyday for the rest of our lives.