Too Afraid To Take Action
I was too afraid.
I waited too long.
I will never get to realize my dream.
These have been the thoughts I’ve struggled with this week and I want to tell you why.
I’m hoping it will serve as a cautionary tale and help even just one of you to break through the fear and go after that thing you want.
The idea of Don’t Say Sorry hit me like a lightning bolt over 5 years ago. It was just an epiphany out of nowhere and this list of “Don’t Say Sorry” statements flowed out of me like a river. I had no clue what I was going to do with it and so I had this list and this title and nothing else except a gnawing in my gut that I was supposed to do SOMETHING. A few years later, I wrote several blog posts but I never shared them with anyone, so they have sat on this site dormant. Over the past year I have added a few more posts, created Instagram, Facebook and Twitter accounts, but still I was fearful of committing myself to the content and was VERY afraid of sharing it with the public.
Perspective Born Out of Loss
And then in early September, my dad passed away. I knew it was coming and wrote about preparing for the loss in a previous post (click here to read). I knew he was going to die and I had the chance to say the things I wanted to say, tell him goodbye and I was there to see the end of his time here with us. Grief comes in waves and at unexpected times but for the most part, I am okay…..however, I will never be the same.
I logically know we are all going to die and I certainly consider myself lucky that I had my dad with me until almost 49 years of age. He had a long, full life and I think in the greater scheme of things, what more can we really hope for? He saw his kids grow and create families of their own and he got to fully enjoy both grandkids and great grandkids. That is a gift not afforded to a lot of people. So why has this changed me? Because I still don’t think I fully understood our mortality until I walked this journey. WE HAVE ONE LIFE. There’s a fire lit in me to do more, be better, love harder, laugh more and build the life that I imagine for myself, unapologetically. And I know with 100% certainty it is what my dad would want.
The Year of Yes Is Born
Hours after my dad passed, my adult nephew offered me a ticket for the Lewis Howe’s Summit of Greatness in Columbus, Ohio. I am a huge fan of Lewis and have wanted to attend one of his events for quite a while. It was definitely odd timing and worse yet, he needed an answer by the next day. That situation is kind of my worst nightmare. You see, I am a planner by nature and typically would want to check with my kids, husband, calendar, flight prices, hotel rates, moon phase, weather reports…..you get the idea. For some reason, in the haze of being awake for 36 hours and going through that intense experience of watching my dad pass, I said yes to this thing I really wanted without having a plan at all. I hadn’t even asked my family!!! And then I took it a step further and I declared the next year (my birthday was around the corner) the Year of Yes. I committed to saying yes to every opportunity presented to me that was something I have always wanted to do but have held myself back from, whether because of fear, or because I put myself second to others.
Year of Yes Starts Out Rough
So picture me all motivated by this huge declaration and I am going go to the Summit of Greatness and finally going to take Don’t Say Sorry to the next level. I was 100% committed and focused on using this experience to broadcast my message to others about truly deciding what makes YOU happy and then going after it unapologetically.
I’m fired up!! I’m listening to podcasts and reading books. One of my birthday gifts was “Girl, Wash Your Face” by Rachel Hollis and I devoured it, even more fired up than before. She’s awesome and I’m ready! Then it gets even better….my niece (who gave me the book and whose husband I am going to Summit of Greatness with) texted me and tells me that Lewis Howes’ latest podcast is an interview with Rachel Hollis. GET. OUT. OF. TOWN. The stars are aligning and I am sure all of this is a sign from the universe that I am totally moving in the right direction. So i put in my Airpods in and am listening to the interview, loving every minute and feeling totally motivated.
And then it happens…..Rachel announces the title of her next book…..”Girl, Stop Apologizing!”. It was literally like someone punched me in the gut.
Even though I hadn’t built it yet, Don’t Say Sorry feels like my purpose and has been gnawing at my gut and pounding on my heart. Now a world famous author had a similar message and I was sure I would always be viewed as being a copycat. My message was no longer original and no longer had value. I was devastated and wondered if I even should go to the Summit because what was the point? That was all I had and it was ruined.
Nothing To Fear Anymore
After the podcast, I sulked and complained to anyone that would listen. I actually had a full blown pity party for about 24 hours. And then something unexpected happened: I had written a new blog post and posted it on Instagram and Twitter, as is my normal process. This time, however, I went into my Facebook friends and asked about 50 friends who felt “safe” to like my Don’t Say Sorry page which linked to my blog (only my husband, best friend and coach knew about my blog before this time). Yikes – I had just put it out there!! What had I done? But instead of deleting the page to save face, I went back in and invited more friends. Suddenly, the fear of someone else stealing a chance for my dream to become reality was more scary than putting my dream out for others to judge.
As Rachel Hollis said in the “No Is The Final Answer” chapter of her book “Girl, Wash Your Face”,
“You have to do something about it. You have to reach down inside yourself and remember the reason you started this. You’d better find the will to keep going, because if you don’t, I promise you someone else will.”
She is 100% right and I just know that regardless of what her book says, I can still send my message out and fulfill this desire to inspire others to live their own authentic life. I HIGHLY encourage you to buy her book if you haven’t already: It was truly a game-changer for me and she is amazing and inspirational. Her podcast is incredible as well so go check her out and get inspired. https://www.letsrise.co/podcast/
Moral Of The Story
So, my message to you is this….learn from my mistake. Whatever your dream is, do it now! The fear of not giving yourself a chance is SO much worse than having it not work out. Expect to see a lot more from Don’t Say Sorry in the weeks and months to come because 1) I’m not afraid of what others will think and 2) because my dad is watching and I always want to make him proud.
Don’t Say Sorry…..Just go do something today, big or small, that moves you closer to your dream!